Break Free From 11 Success Blockers
Life can feel really challenging sometimes.
But if you don’t want to succumb to a lifetime of justifications for why you cannot claim the life you want, then here are 11 beliefs and habits that might be blocking you:
1. My life is just a random result of bad luck.
There was a time when I believed that I had just picked the short straw, so my challenges were a result of random bad luck. Thanks to the law of cause and effect, I learned that I am the one causing my luck or lack of it. There will always be challenges in life, but they are there to strengthen us. It’s how we respond to them that will dictate what shows up next. Choose to see challenges as opportunities to practice overcoming and dig deep to find the courage and strength to get through them. Hire someone if you cannot do it alone.
2. Believing you know what’s best for people and believing that other people should act in a different way.
Let them be. Stay in your own lane and focus on you. If they trigger you, thank them internally because they are guiding you to an INTERNAL pain that is begging to be worked on. The less accepting you are of others, the less accepting you are of yourself. You might be completely blind to this fact because you are so outward focused. You might be thinking “no, I don’t judge myself, I like who I am”. Look again. Nobody who likes who they are is allowing the pain of the separation that comes with judgment of others.
3. Blaming others because you don’t get ahead.
Blame is a losing and very disempowering game. Instead, take radical responsibility for your results. Choose to believe that where there is a will, there is always a way. Choose to believe that you are powerful and resourceful. Revolutionize your thinking.
4. Being stuck in a story from the past and repeatedly talking about how hard done by you were in that situation.
Instead, thank life for the lesson, release the anger and choose to use that lesson in your future. Seek help if you don’t manage to release it on your own.
5. Believing that you have been dealt a bad hand and wallowing in self-pity, resentment and disempowered thinking
Instead, get curious about how much of the current hand may have been created by your thinking, your choices and your behavior. This is not to encourage self-blame but instead to look at where there is an opportunity for positive change, starting with how you are thinking and feeling.
6. Believing that someone from your past is responsible for your misery today.
They are not. You are. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you get to choose every day who you want to be, what you want to create and how you want to respond to life events. It’s not an overnight flick of a switch, but if you are not actively working towards developing a clearer mind, take responsibility for that personal choice and own the consequences of it. Responsibility includes taking responsibility for healing your trauma too. It’s a choice about whether you do or not, but as long as you are still holding someone else responsible, you are powerless to take control yourself.
7. Believing “I tried that and it didn’t work for me” so you gave up, believing that you are somehow different.
This is a common one. If it didn’t work, try something else. Keep going until you DO succeed. You know how many ‘failures’ I have experienced? The truth is that there were no real failures. I just learned along the way what didn’t work. NEVER give up on yourself!
8. Believing that you are entitled to an easier life.
Believing that others have it easier and that’s why they get ahead. That’s simply not true. EVERYBODY faces adversity. It’s part of how life is designed. Your pain is not unique.
9. Believing “I can’t” for things that you want to change in your life.
What’s usually true is that you are not doing what’s required nor investing in yourself to get that change. I have backed myself to the CORE and continue to do so. Every penny I have goes into me creating the life I want. I could have a nice house for the amount of money I invested. But what good is a nice house if the mind inside that house is tormented? When I hear people making excuses about why they cannot work towards creating the life they want, I call b.s. You are choosing where you put your money every day. You are also choosing what you refuse to trade in return for your growth.
10. Believing that people need to understand you, pay more attention to you, take care of you.
No they don’t, you need to take care of you. I see this in people who believe they are amongst the kindest people on the planet. They think “if only other people were as nice as me and were kinder to me”. They don’t see how they have unrealistic expectations of others. I’ve been that self-absorbed person so I know what I’m talking about. Putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes to understand where they are coming from a bit more makes a big difference. Reality is ALWAYS kinder than the story we are telling about it.
11. Refusing to try to understand where another person is coming from because you are so attached to being right.
A closed mind that believes it knows best won't make progress. There are ALWAYS two sides to every story. Sometimes we need to look at the other side to understand their pain so we see that they are incapable of showing up the way you want them to. When we realize that it’s not personal, we can develop compassion for them.
I hope this serves you.
Love Niamh