How To Stop Your Emotions Hijacking You
The following is a step by step explanation of what I shared in the video.
Below the 6 steps, you will find 20 reflective prompts that will help solidify your transformation.
Step 1: The Cost
What emotional hijacking is really costing you
Most people believe their problem is that they feel too much. They label themselves as too emotional, too sensitive, or too reactive and assume that if they could just manage their emotions better, life would feel easier. So they suppress what they feel, distract themselves, overanalyse it, talk it through endlessly, or escape discomfort altogether.
None of these approaches create real stability.
When emotions hijack you, it happens quickly and quietly. A feeling arises and almost instantly becomes personal. The mind moves from “I am feeling something” to “this means something about me, about them, or about what I should do.” In that moment, clarity narrows. Behaviour changes. Decisions are made from urgency rather than choice. Emotions are no longer being felt. They are being obeyed.
The cost of this is far greater than most people realise. Emotional hijacking creates unnecessary destruction in relationships. Words are spoken that cannot be taken back. Reactions land as blame, defensiveness, withdrawal, or volatility. Even without intention to hurt, the impact is real. Over time, trust erodes. Harmony disappears. Distance grows, not because people do not care, but because emotional reactions keep getting in the way.
Internally, emotional hijacking destabilises you. One moment you feel clear and confident, the next you feel overwhelmed, doubtful, or collapsed. This inconsistency weakens self-trust. Boundaries soften. Decisions feel harder. You second-guess yourself, not because you lack intelligence or insight, but because your internal state keeps shifting underneath you.
There is also a massive energy cost. Emotional hijacking keeps the nervous system activated. Mental energy drains through rumination, replaying conversations, imagining different outcomes, and overthinking. Emotional energy is lost through suppression, guilt, shame, and self-judgement. Physical energy suffers too. Sleep becomes lighter. The body holds tension. Focus drops. Over time, this leads to emotional burnout and a persistent sense of depletion.
For some people, this pattern shows up as emotional reactivity. For others, it turns inward. Instead of reacting, they shut down. Their sensitivity feels like too much. The pain of emotional fallout in relationships becomes unbearable. So they withdraw. They isolate. They reduce connection, not because they do not want intimacy, but because the cost of emotional reactivity feels too high. This creates loneliness, disconnection, and a deep sense of being misunderstood or unseen.
This is also where dependency and addiction often take root. When emotions feel overwhelming or unsafe, the system looks for relief. That relief might come through food, alcohol, sugar, scrolling, work, control, or distraction. What begins as coping slowly becomes habit. Habit becomes reliance. Energy that could be used for creativity, connection, health, and purpose gets redirected into managing emotional discomfort.
One of the most painful costs is the erosion of self-respect. After emotional reactions or shutdowns, people feel guilt for how they showed up, shame for not being more grounded, and frustration at repeating the same patterns. There is a quiet loss of pride. A sense that you should be more emotionally mature, steadier, or more capable by now.
Step 2: The Consequence
What emotional hijacking quietly creates
Left unaddressed, emotional hijacking shapes your identity. You begin to doubt your maturity. You stop trusting your steadiness. You feel disappointed in yourself for reacting, withdrawing, or repeating patterns you promised you would outgrow.
Life becomes smaller. Energy is spent managing emotional fallout instead of building the life you want. Relationships feel fragile. Decisions feel heavy. You are constantly repairing instead of creating.
Step 3: The Payoff
What becomes possible when emotions no longer run you
Now consider the opposite.
When emotions no longer hijack you, something fundamental shifts. People trust you more because your responses are consistent and grounded. Relationships become more harmonious, not because there is no conflict, but because you are no longer reactive or unpredictable inside it. Communication becomes cleaner. Boundaries become clearer.
Energy returns. A huge amount of energy is freed up when you stop fighting, suppressing, or escaping emotions. That energy shows up as clarity, vitality, and joy. You feel more present in your life. More alive.
Self-confidence grows quietly. Not as bravado, but as inner certainty. Self-respect returns because your behaviour aligns with your values. You feel proud of how you handle yourself, even in difficult moments.
This is emotional maturity. Not suppression. Not detachment. The ability to feel deeply and remain self-led.
Step 4: A Taste of the How
The distinction that changes everything
Here is the distinction that makes all of this possible:
Feeling emotions is not the problem. Being identified with them is.
Emotions are experiences you have, not who you are. Just as you can have the flu without being the flu, you can have an emotion without it becoming your identity. The moment an emotion defines you, it begins to run you.
When you notice an emotional reaction arising, the first step is to catch it before it becomes behaviour. That pause is everything.
Bring your attention into your heart and take five slow, deep breaths. Long inhales. Longer exhales. This signals safety to the nervous system and creates space between the emotion and your response.
In that space, choose a simple phrase that anchors you back into who you are committed to being. For example:
“I choose love, kindness, and compassion.”
This is not about bypassing emotion. It is about remembering that you are larger than it.
This distinction applies just as much to fear, especially the kind of fear that shows up when you are building something of your own. Fear of visibility, fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of getting it wrong. Fear is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a state moving through the system. Like weather. You experience it, but you are not the weather.
The problem is not feeling fear. The problem is believing “I am afraid” rather than “fear is here.” The moment fear becomes who you are, it begins to dictate your behaviour. You delay. You hide. You overthink. You wait to feel confident before acting. But when you observe fear without identifying with it, something changes. You can feel it and still move. You can feel it and still choose. Fear becomes information, not authority.
Step 5: The Reality Check
Why this cannot be a one-off insight
This is important.
If you read this and think, “That’s sorted now,” then nothing will change long-term. Emotional identification is deeply conditioned. It has been reinforced for years, often decades. One insight or one technique will not undo it.
Emotional mastery is not a quick fix. It is an identity shift. You begin to see yourself as someone who is emotionally self-led, grounded, and mature, and then you train that identity through daily practice.
This work must become a priority. It requires immersion, repetition, and commitment. Without that, old patterns return.
This is why emotional mastery sits at the heart of the Fired Up Energy System. Emotional stability is not just psychological. It is energetic and physical. When emotional energy stabilises, life energy follows.
Step 6: The Invitation
Where this work is trained properly
This is the kind of work I teach inside The Fired Up Coaching Academy™. Not as a concept, but as an embodied practice. The Academy exists to support people who want to train emotional self-leadership seriously, consistently, and at depth.
If this lesson resonated, it is likely because part of you already knows this matters. If you want to immerse yourself in training this properly and becoming emotionally self-led, you are welcome to reach out and start a conversation.
For now, simply notice what shifts when you stop believing your emotions define you.
That awareness is the beginning.
REFLECTION PROMPTS:
Step 1: The Cost
Seeing the impact clearly
In what situations do emotions most often hijack me? Be specific about the context, the people involved, and the patterns I notice.
How have my emotional reactions or shutdowns affected my relationships, communication, or sense of connection over time?
Where do I notice the biggest energy leaks in my life due to rumination, guilt, avoidance, or emotional recovery?
What habits, distractions, or dependencies do I use to escape emotional discomfort when it feels overwhelming?
Step 2: The Consequence
Understanding what this creates if left untrained
How has emotional inconsistency affected my self-trust, confidence, or decision-making?
In what ways have I made my life smaller to avoid emotional discomfort or relational fallout?
What is the emotional or energetic cost of continuing to relate to emotions the way I currently do?
Step 3: The Payoff
Clarifying what becomes possible
How would my relationships change if I responded from steadiness instead of reactivity or withdrawal?
What would it feel like to trust myself emotionally and feel proud of how I handle difficult moments?
Where in my life do I sense more energy, joy, or clarity would naturally return if emotions stopped running the system?
Step 4: A Taste of the How
Beginning the shift
What emotions do I most easily identify with or believe define me when they arise?
How does my body signal emotional activation or hijacking before my behaviour changes?
What simple phrase or mantra could help anchor me back into self-leadership when emotions arise?
Step 5: The Reality Check
Taking responsibility for the work
In what ways have I assumed that insight or awareness alone would change my emotional responses?
What would it look like to make emotional mastery a real priority rather than an occasional focus?
What identity do I need to commit to becoming in order to train this consistently?
Step 6: The Invitation (Personal Commitment)
Choosing your next level
What kind of person do I want to be when emotions are intense, relationships are challenging, or life feels uncertain?
What would change in my life if I consistently showed up as emotionally self-led, grounded, and mature?
What support, structure, or environment would best support me in training this properly?
Closing prompt (important)
What am I now willing to take responsibility for in how I relate to my emotions?
Invitation
If you decide to take coaching seriously, structure matters. Skill comes from guided practice and feedback. That’s the role of The Fired Up Coaching Academy™.